Bringing new life to old traditions

"A little nonsense now and then, is relished by the wisest men." - Roald Dahl

We have an elaborate, kooky, delicious tradition we enjoy each year around this time. Over the years the name has morphed and transformed, but at it's essence, it is an afternoon and evening with extended family when we go to town on more crab than anyone should ever eat, exchange silly gifts, and open weird fortune cookies. And the thing that makes it special are the unique touches my husband adds each year. We refer to this tradition as Crabeganza or CrabFest, and each time there is a new backstory, theme and title. One of the most important aspects of this tradition is the ever-entertaining email invite and FAQ follow-up he sends. One year the event was christened "CrabFest II: Electric Boogaloo;" this year the invite was written in the form of a poem he composed in iambic tetrameter (yes, apparently that is a thing).

I bring this up because December is the all-star month for family traditions. It is easy to get complacent and bored when we do the same things over and over for no clear reason. But I love our tradition of Crabeganza because it is silly and creative while maintaining a core consistency. Take a little time this season to look at the traditions you've begun or continued in your family. Examine whether they are still meaningful to you or if you need to tweak them or create something new. Family traditions at their best offer three important things: 1) Meaning or purpose, 2) An expression of the uniqueness of your family, and 3) Consistency or predictability over time.

Cultivate meaning or purpose

Many family traditions celebrate one's faith and values. Even Crabeganza, when we jokingly refer to celebrating the winter solstice¹, has at its core the value of family and coming together. Are there traditions in your family that are a drudgery or lack all meaning? Not every tradition must have a sense of meaning and purpose (I see you, Elf on the Shelf!), but you should have a few. It is through the celebration of these traditions that our children learn what is important to us and why. Be intentional about sharing why certain traditions are meaningful to you. Talk about why you volunteer at a shelter each year, or what it might mean to be able to provide a Thanksgiving meal to a local family. This will draw you closer as a family and provide a deeper context as your children understand the meaning behind traditions.

Express your uniqueness

Traditions also express the uniqueness and values of each family. My husband's grandmother celebrates her heritage every Christmas Eve when she serves risengrot, a Norwegian rice pudding. The kids love the game of who can find a hidden nut in their risengrot and get a prize. Other families celebrate their competitive spirit by hosting poker games or cribbage tournaments or family football. Still others love that Elf on the Shelf and throw themselves into creatively outwitting the kids in the house. Again, not every tradition has to be unique and special to your family, but you should have a few that embrace the silly, fun, creative, or unique things you love about your family.

Provide consistency

Traditions also provide consistency and predictability in our busy schedules. A few months ago I wrote about the importance of family routines in providing structure and stability when the world around (and within) your child is changing. You can read that initial post here. I ended that post with a promise to discuss other ways to provide structure and predictability in our family lives. Family traditions can provide that added level of consistency over time.

2019 will mark our 9th year of hosting Crabeganza. When we first began, I must admit that I was reluctant and overwhelmed to host so many people when I had three kids under the age of 8. But I see now how this tradition has grown in to something loved and anticipated by dozens of people in our lives, some of whom we only see at Crabeganza once a year. There have been times when hosting was difficult and we considered skipping it, but our kids revolted and said it wouldn't be the holidays without it. That is when you know a family tradition has hit home -- when the next generation embraces it and calls it its own.

There are likely a lot of big and small traditions you enjoy as a family. Think of how they have woven themselves into the fabric of your family life and how they might express your family's purpose, uniqueness, personality, or values. I'd love to hear how you have created big or small family traditions -- or ways you are breathing new life into old traditions. Have a very wonderful and joyous holiday this season!

¹ Winter solstice is actually not a joking matter here in the Pacific Northwest. It marks the day when our days start to get longer, so it is truly a cause for celebration!