When Loving our Kids Hurts Them

[this post was from March 2015]

We all want the best for our children and do our best to help them feel loved. There are ways, however, that our expressions of love for our kids don't help them long term. If our definition of love means removing all discomfort and stress from our kids' lives, then how will they develop the important life skills of perseverance, resilience, and taking on new challenges? If our definition of love means providing all the material necessities we never had growing up and removing any financial consequences, then how will they develop an understanding of the value of work, the skill of budgeting, and the money smarts they'll need as they reach adulthood? If our definition of love means grooming our kids to present a perfect front to the world and to admissions offices at our favorite schools, then how will they develop a true sense of self and who they are apart from what others think of them?

These questions have confronted me as I explore two different topics for school talks and small discussion groups -- Building Resilience in our Kids and Parenting in a Culture of Affluence. In the coming months, I'll be speaking at different schools on how to help our kids overcome stress and nurture resilience. I'm also leading small discussion groups on the "Price of Privilege," based on the book of the same title. Groups are capped at 9 participants to facilitate discussion, and there is no need to have read the book. Why all the interest? I believe it is because we love our kids and are struggling with the best ways to show them that love. Come join us as we learn from each other and from what the research says about effective ways to nurture your children's development.